A second chance at love….

9 Feb

Celebrate your second chance at love….

written by: Kristin Turner, Owner & Lead Consultant
Second Wedding

I have so many brides come to me and ask for guidance on planning their second wedding. It kills me because most feel that they shouldn’t have a big wedding because they feel others will judge them if they do. Not that long ago, popular thought dictated that second weddings should not be elaborate, formal or extravagant; rather, one should aim for smaller, quieter and more intimate. Today, however, more than 30% of today’s weddings are encore weddings and decidedly more commonplace. The focus is on celebrating two people who have found each other, discovering love again and embarking on a new beginning.

In truth, celebrations can be as elaborate or as intimate as we desire, without fearing social stigma.The truth is, divorce can be a very painful and heartbreaking process. I have respect for anyone who survives the situation and has the bravery to try again. It shouldn’t matter to you, or anyone else, if this is your first marriage or not. This is your first marriage to each other. It’s a new beginning, even if it isn’t your first beginning. Plan a wedding that represents you and your partner. Do what you want, not what you think others would find acceptable. It is your day, the day that you and your partner are vowing to stick it out through thick and thin. Celebrate it and enjoy it, on whatever size scale you want.

DON’T include people who are judgmental or discouraging of your new found happiness. It is a common misconception that you have to include everyone you have ever known. You don’t! This day is about you and your partner, and spending the rest of your lives together. Include the people that are truly invested in your happiness and who are supportive of you, your partner, and your choices.Things you should not do on your encore wedding are wear the same dress, use the same rings, use the same venue, or trash your exes at the celebration. This is a new beginning; don’t use the same things from your last wedding. Using the same venue does not apply to churches. If you had your childhood priest marry you in your church the first time, and want him to marry you again that is acceptable.

Great things to do on your encore wedding are to include personal touches and things that hold meaning to you and your partner. Write your vows, and make them personalized and meaningful. Do register for your encore wedding. People will want to buy you gifts to celebrate, and they will need guidance in finding things you need. Lily-of-the-valley is a beautiful flower and is great for encore weddings because they mean “return of happiness”. Have a destination wedding, and turn it into a big family vacation. Make it fun!I can’t urge you enough to plan the wedding of your dreams and to not hold back. You don’t want to look back at this day years from now and wish you had done it differently. Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it!

This blog is dedicated to someone in my life who is very important to me. She had the courage to try again, and ended up finding a great love and is truly happy. When she remarries, I hope it’s the wedding she wants. You can be sure that I’ll be in the front row cheering them on!!!

“When life kicks you, let it kick you forward.”


What are your thoughts on a second wedding? Have you gone through it? Share with us!

One Response to “A second chance at love….”

  1. lauradee24 February 12, 2009 at 5:29 am #

    Beautifully written and encouraging. Thank you! 🙂

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