LOVE LASTS FOREVER. How to remember & honor loved ones on your wedding day.

29 Sep

For some moments in life there are no words. 
 David Seltzer, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory


I recently lost a very good friend. She was so young and it was unexpected. I am still grieving. I find that it makes it better to find ways to keep her spirit alive everyday. Many couples have lost someone important. It might be a parent, a grandmother, a brother, or several loved ones. It’s especially important to remember your lost loved ones in an extra special way on your wedding day. But you might be wondering how to include meaningful gestures without casting a pall over the event. Here are some of my favorites.

Flowers rose on chair
Flowers are a popular way to honor loved ones. One moving gesture is for the bride or groom to place a flower in an empty chair (next to the aisle or in the first row) as they approach the altar. You can use that person’s favorite flower, or a flower that reminds you of them. This is a way to know that they have a place at your ceremony. I also knew a bride that placed one mini sunflower in her bouquet for each person she wanted to remember.

Remembrance Tables
Couples like to have a special table to display photos, candles, vases of flowers or bouquets. Sometimes, these items will be stand-alone. Sometimes, they’ll show up at the ceremony on the guestbook table, or on the altar. Photos are a very visual way to remember and see those whom you miss…

Loving Words or a Special Prayer
Your officiant briefly memorialize the special people who couldn’t be with you on your special day. You can also dedicate a page to them in your wedding program.

If your like my family, food is the center of many of our gatherings. This might seem a little more lighthearted, but you can honor family members by including a famous cookie or candy recipe with your desserts, a signature appetizer on the menu, or a favorite sweet in a candy buffet (did your father love M&Ms?). Include a small framed note that explains the connection. InsideWeddings tells the story of a bride who lost her brother Ryan several years before the ceremony. Her father had Ryan-brand wine served at the reception.

If someone in the family has a gorgeous set of pipes, one of the most moving tributes is to have them sing a dedicated song at the ceremony. Another popular approach: ask the DJ to play a special dance for an aunt or grandfather who loved to shake it on the floor.

A touching way to remember someone is to wear something of theirs. Brides have worn their mother’s or grandmother’s veils, or sashes made from the wedding dress. String a rosary, locket or set of pearls into your bouquet. Grooms have worn their father’s cufflinks or wedding ring. Even wearing a specific cologne or perfume can make you feel closer to someone.

The “donation in lieu of favors” is a time-tested way to honor someone you’ve lost to a physical illness. Individual cards or a framed table note will let guests know who was on your mind. Some brides set out ribbons symbolizing the type of loss involved: pink for breast cancer, teal for ovarian or testicular cancer, and so on. I went to a wedding where a pink awareness bracelet was placed at each place setting with a personal note from the bride and groom. It was a touching gesture from a groom who had lost both parents to cancer.

Anything that reminds you of a loved one is fine: butterfly bouquet picks or a picture-frame pin and photo pinned to a bouquet wrap ribbon, or a monogram pin in the letter of someone you’ve lost. A number of stores sell “In Loving Memory” brooches you can pin to a sash or ribbon. InsideWeddings tells of a bride who parked a pink and white 1957 Nash Metropolitan in front of the wedding tent in memory of her mother.

It doesn’t matter what you choose to do. What is important is that you do something that means something to you. If there is a special story, or a funny inside joke that makes you think of them and smile, find a creative way to incorporate it into your wedding day… and of course, they will be with you on your special day.


One Response to “LOVE LASTS FOREVER. How to remember & honor loved ones on your wedding day.”

  1. chair December 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    I’ve learn some good stuff here. Definitely value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how much effort you set to create the sort of wonderful informative website.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: